Ledger Tyson Downs

Today we are celebrating the birthday of our favorite one year old!  What a great kid.  So far.  It was one year ago on January 12, around 3:30 am when I woke up from a dream.  A dream where Tyson was driving me down the old washboard dirt backroads of Nebraska.  I was begging him to slow down because I was peeing my pants.  I awake to a soaked bed confused whether I had done just as I had in my dream and peed, or if my water broke.  So I did the trusty ole sniff test.  What the H*LL is that?  I gently nudge Tyson awake.  "Smell this," I say.  "What?" He replies.  After a few minutes of convincing him he returned with the same bewildered face I had?  What the H*ll?  That's not pee.  It couldn't be my water breaking.  I had been up for like 10 minutes now, and I had not felt at thing.  No trickling, no gushing, no contractions. What to do, what to do?  I turn to my true friend the internet.  All the birthing sites said that amniotic fluid smelled either sweet, or earthy?  What the heck is earthy?  That smell is NOT sweet, but earthy??  I was confused.  I didn't want to go all the way to Meridian to be checked just to be sent home.  What about Trey and Nix?  It was like 4 in the morning now.  I decided to call the hospital.  I was told to come in and get checked on out.  Yeah right.  I return to the internet.  Finally, a chat room where I find one person that refers to the smell of her fluid, to the exact smell that i am smelling.  (If you want to know ask me, it's gross.)  Then I see someone say to rub some of the fluid on a mirror or glass surface, if it crystalizes it is amniotic fluid, if not it's pee.  Yep, I did that next.  Definitely crystals all over our bathroom mirror.  Frickity, frick, frick, who's going to watch our kids at 5 in the morning.  I know it took me awhile to convince myself.  Then the panic sets in.  Crap you are suppose to be at the hospital an hour after your water breaks, and I need to be on antibiotics for that stupid Strep B.  Crap, I'm not ever having contractions this is going to be a long labor.  Tyson is finally realizing this is the real deal.  He starts frantically calling people to come over and watch the boys.  Thankfully, my visiting teacher from church is able to come over.  Phew.  Then off to the hospital we go. 
We arrive and I talk to the same nurse that I talked to on the phone, who by-the-way, paused for a long, long time after I told her what I was smelling, put me on hold and came back and told me to just come in.  So there I am in the triage room.  I was sweating like no other for some reason .  She takes some little test strip to the pad I was wearing to see if it tested positive for fluid.  Nopers.  What the??  Then she tests some other fluid that is right you know where.  Oh yeah it's positive.   Does that get me admitted ? No.  What are these chicks crazy? Why they aren't just checking me I don't know.  I have been having contractions now since we left for the hospital.  So miss Head Nurse, with her smoke smelling self, decided to swab some more, readjust her nose ring ,and go look at it under a microscope.  Have fun I say as I spread them to a now very obvious display of water breaking, and all the other goodies that develop once you are in labor.  "Oh ,"she says.  "Well I'll go test this to be sure."  Moron I say.  Minutes later she comes back. Positive.  Duh.  Go have another smoke idiot.  Get my room, get checked oh you are at a 5.  It is like 8 now.  It seriously took that long for these dumb nurses to decide if water broke. Call my doctor who is on his way to work right across from the hospital.  Still contractions are so-so, but being my wussy self decide an epidural is greatly needed.  By 9:30 I am begging Tyson to check under the blanket because I know I am crapping all over the bed.  No pooh.  I ask him again.  Then saunter in my delivery nurses who, thankfully, are different.  One was new, so  she was shadowing the veteran.  I say to them I feel like I am totally going to take a huge crap.  "Uh, heheheh."  "Let's check you."  I knew he was right there.  I get so dang nervous when the time comes to puch the little critters out.  I know my life is over.  I know my crotch is going to hurt, my boobs are going to explode.  My stomach which is cute being pregnant, is going to be a disgusting flap of fat that doesn't fit into anything.  Can't I take it back.  Keep him in, I'm NOT in labor.  Just kidding.  Nope, doctor arrives 10:15.  I guess that parking lot is a bitch to get across.  How they keep him (baby) shoved up there I don't know.  Don't push they keep telling me.  Don't worry I really don't want to.  Pain is not my friend.   They suit up in there gear.  Jeez I wonder if I am shooting toxic sludge at them too or what.  What's with the face guards, and shields?  Whatever,  PUSH, PUSH, PUSH baby is here.  He is gorgeous.  7lb 8 oz 20".  Perfect.  I love him to pieces.  So happy my life is over.